20 LET'S TALK Jerry tells you to shut up and let LeShawn finish.

57 WHEN LESS REALLY IS MORE Do you own your trailer or does your trailer own you?

65 THE REVENGE CALENDAR Thirty-one days to Gotcha!

70 BEAUTY Wigs that stay on.

74 FASHION You, the tramp sitting on the end—I'm not listening to a word you say till you learn how to dress.

80 NOURISH YOUR SENSES Pull someone's hair. Harder.

84 ON A BUDGET How to make him pay for the paternity test.

88 FIND YOUR VOICE Articulate your feelings without the bleeps.

90 PARENTING Your effeminate son is a fag and a butt-muncher.

92 JERRY TO GO Our monthly list of stations that have canceled us.

96 EARTHLY ADVICE To the one dating the white guy: Wake up, girl. He's flaming so bad I can feel the heat from here.

100 GREAT FOOD Five-minute meals that are easy to throw.

105 MY JOURNAL Singer-actress Jewel opens her diary and her soul, because she never really has a chance to express her feelings in her songs.

106 YOU CAN DO IT Tell your lover something that will provoke him to violence.

108 TRAVEL Where to find women who will fight over men with bad skin and no job.

117 FASHION You go out in public dressed like that?

124 DECORATING Jerry's bodyguard Steve on rearranging chairs during commercial breaks.

130 GET FIT Full-contact tae bo.

135 THE J LIST Jerry's faves: Cincinnati chili, lavender bath oil, touring production of Rent, three-ways.

139 CONNECT WITH YOUR FRIENDS Sleep with their lovers.

140 THE GIFT OF AMATEUR PORN You taped that? Crazy bitch.

148 HE MY SLAVE He don't talk unless I tell him to, Jerry.

152 JERRY TALKS TO CAMILLE COSBY How she and Bill survived his tragic CBS sitcom.

159 PAMPER YOURSELF Accessories for adult babies.

166 PREGNANT AND FEELING DUMPY? Try sleeping around.

172 WORDS FOR Jews, blacks, gays: a guide for skinheads.

181 ILLUMINATIONS Private thoughts on public assistance.

184 THE COLOR OF LOVE You know what they say, Jer. Once you have black, you'll never go back.

194 FOR THE FIRST TIME 14-year-olds who look 18 talk about doin' it.

Take care of yourself and each other, but if it doesn't work out, call 1-800-SPRINGER.