left open the remote possibility that he could consider a dark horse
candidate who has not been publicly discussed, the source said."
Associated Press, August 3
Home State: Kentucky
Qualifications: world's leading stud, commanding $300,000 per impregnated
should feel right at home sharing ticket with an oversexed male
who mates with upwards of 70 females annually
of potential heirs, should the U.S. ever move to a hereditary system
of Presidential succession
Cat" is a cooler name than "Evan Bayh"
stance ("Guns don't shoot horses. People shoot horses, don't they?")
at odds with Gore's position
not be willing to give up current job of constantly having sex
Campaign Slogan: "Prosperity. Virility. Gore/Cat 2000. Of Course.
Home State: Virginia
Qualifications: "Horse of the Century"; won racing's Triple Crown
in crucial Southern states
moving like a tremendous machine"
dead, which would lead to no end of "flogging" jokes
position on Social Security, especially since death
Campaign Slogan: "Al and Big Red: It's Time to Stirrup the White
Home State: London, England
Qualifications: narrator of novel beloved by children for over 100
years; cab-pulling experience
garner votes among blacks, beauties
positions on animal rights, environmental issues could win liberals
away from Ralph Nader
a fictional horse
tendency to duck questions about past by claiming "The first place
that I can well remember was a large pleasant meadow with a pond
of clear water in it"
Campaign Slogan: "Gore and Black Beauty: Special Interests Can't
Make Them Drink."
Home State: California
Qualifications: supporting player in early Disney animated films;
former Chairman of House Judiciary Committee
inject a note of levity into dull Gore campaign
appeared on nearly twice as many collectible plates as Dick Cheney
questions about liaison with Clarabelle Cow
campaign" cracks could prove tiresome
a cartoon horse
Campaign Slogan: "Gore and Horace: They'll Work For Us."
Home State: Germany
Qualifications: allegedly able to perform addition and subtraction
by stamping his foot to indicate the answers; Ambassador to Chile
lack of genuine math ability, still smarter than Bush
could become a rousing trademark of campaign rallies
already, so severed head could easily be placed in bed of Trent
actually do arithmetic, but was simply receiving unintentional cues
from his trainer (cf. Sen. John Edwards of North Carolina)
dead and from Germany, unlike Governor Jeanne Shaheen of New Hampshire
Campaign Slogan: "In 2000, It's the Horse That Counts."