I want Florida to end this whole thing now...
Dear Secretary Harris: The integrity of the 2000 presidential election now rests in your hands, as do the lives of our first-born sons and our cattle. According to objective measurements, efforts to stall the final vote certification in Florida have angered the Hebrew God and are causing Him to visit the land with plagues, of which the boil on Governor Bush's face is only the first. It is apparent that any continuation of the manual recount or other delaying tactics will result in more opportunities for electoral fraud, as well as the river bringing forth frogs abundantly, which shall go up and come into our houses, and into our bedchambers, and upon our beds, and into the houses of our servants, and upon our people, and into our ovens, and into our kneading-troughs. Please use the full power of your office to keep the kneading-troughs of the American people free of frogs. Sincerely,
Enter Your Name:
Ad Rates/Media Kit
Copyright 2011 Modern Humorist, Inc.
All Rights Reserved.
Modern Humorist is not intended for readers under 18 years of age.