DAN RATHER SIMILE QUIZ
by Ari Voukydis
According to Dan Rather, many of the candidates' projected
"melted faster than ice cream in a microwave."
"vanished faster than Jimmy Hoffa."
"were cut down like mice in a rotary mower."
"shrunk like my nutsack in a bucket full of Icy-Hot."
3. Dan Rather noted that whoever loses the election will
"beaten like a red-headed stepchild."
"madder than a rained-on rooster."
than hubcaps on a Ferris wheel."
"sadder than a kitten who's lost its mittens."
5. According to Dan Rather, how do trends move?
"Like a tornado through a trailer park."
"Like a swarm of bees in a maternity ward."
"As unpredictably as an episode of CBS's 'Survivor.'"
"Like a virgin, touched for the very first time."
"stampeded through Tennessee like a herd of Texas longhorns."
"plowed through the Mid-Atlantic region like a freak on a
"ran through Dixie like a big wheel through a field of cotton."
through the Midwest like a man behind the wheel with a 0.10
When Bush staffers learned that Florida had been moved into
the "too close to call" category, they jumped:
"like they had been jabbed by a hatpin."
"like they had sat on a scorpion."
they got that Christmas goose a bit early, if you know what
"like their nutsacks were immersed in a bucket full of Icy Hot."
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