THE DAN RATHER SIMILE QUIZ by Ari Voukydis
1. According to Dan Rather, many of the candidates' projected leads: "melted faster than ice cream in a microwave." "vanished faster than Jimmy Hoffa." "were cut down like mice in a rotary mower." "shrunk like my nutsack in a bucket full of Icy-Hot."
3. Dan Rather noted that whoever loses the election will be: "beaten like a red-headed stepchild." "madder than a rained-on rooster." "higher than hubcaps on a Ferris wheel." "sadder than a kitten who's lost its mittens."
5. According to Dan Rather, how do trends move? "Like a tornado through a trailer park." "Like a swarm of bees in a maternity ward." "As unpredictably as an episode of CBS's 'Survivor.'" "Like a virgin, touched for the very first time."
6. Bush: "stampeded through Tennessee like a herd of Texas longhorns." "plowed through the Mid-Atlantic region like a freak on a leash." "ran through Dixie like a big wheel through a field of cotton." "drove through the Midwest like a man behind the wheel with a 0.10 blood-alcohol level."
7. When Bush staffers learned that Florida had been moved into the "too close to call" category, they jumped: "like they had been jabbed by a hatpin." "like they had sat on a scorpion." "like they got that Christmas goose a bit early, if you know what I mean." "like their nutsacks were immersed in a bucket full of Icy Hot."
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