Q: What is love?
A: Trying to define love is like trying to do one of those things thats a hassle.
Q: Where does it come from?
A: Every species in the animal kingdom experiences love of some kind. Bulls love cows, birds love bees, and dogs love cats. Hence many biologists believe love is an evolutionary adaptation. Embarrassingly, humans are the only animals that engage in premarital sex.
Q: Whom does it affect?
A: If we are to believe irresponsible Hollywood filmmakers and numerous blood relatives, certain people are more deserving of love than others. But with the exception of the poor, this is a dangerous falsehood.
Q: How does one know when he or she is experiencing it?
A: Mostly birds singing in the sky and flowers waving hello.
Q: How long does it last?
A: 2-6 years, depending on finances.
Q: Does there exist any kind of magical potion that will cause the objects of unrequited love to change their minds and initiate a passionate romance?
A: Aside from alcohol, no.
Q: Is there any difference between "loving" somebody and being "in love" with them?
A: You can "love" every one of your family members and friends, but you can only be "in love" with nine of them.
Q: Where do babies come from?
A: The uterus by way of the vagina.
Q: Are there any famous people whove been in love?
A: Yes. Former Secretary of State Caspar Weinberger.
Q: Can money buy love?
A: No, but it can replace it.
Q: What is the greatest love song ever written?
A: "We Love To See You Smile."
Q: Isnt that more of a McDonalds jingle?
A: So, how about that remarkable news story, unusual weather, or sports team we follow?
Q: Wait a second
Youre not being paid to place hidden advertisements in these FAQs, are you?
A: Thats insulting! I just like the melody.
Q: Im sorry. I didnt mean to jump to conclusions. Besides, you cant beat the real thing.
A: No, you cant.
Q: Is marriage still the healthiest outcome of a loving relationship, or just an antiquated institution in need of a major overhaul due to changing gender roles?
A: Michelin. Because so much is riding on your tires.