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Subject: FW: A Miracle???

Dear Friend,

In these awful times when all the news is bad, this true story, which I read in a major metropolitan newspaper, is a spark of hope.

Apparently, one of the rescue workers was digging through the rubble of the Pentagon after the attack when something that looked like a book caught his eye. He picked it up and brushed it off. Although everything around it was completely charred and destroyed, this book was completely intact. It was a copy of a very special book, a wonderful book that to many millions of people is more than just a book. Of course you’ve probably realized I’m talking about "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey.

Well, if finding this book, which has brought inspiration and strength to so many people, unscathed in the midst of a terrible disaster site isn’t a sign, I don’t know what is! You can click below to buy your own copy of the book from Amazon. Please pass this along to anyone who wants some good news.

Subject: Fwd: Halloween Warning!


You know I’m not one to pass along e-mails that get forwarded to me unless I have a reason to believe they’re for real. Well, this story is true, and very scary!


My sister’s friend had been dating a man of Saudi Arabian descent. They were going to go to the movies on September 9th, but, when she got home that night there was a message from him on her machine. It said that although he had enjoyed their dates, he could never see her again, and told her please, PLEASE, don’t take any cross-country airplane flights on September 11th!

He went on to say, "One more thing, on Halloween, whatever you do, don’t go anywhere near the party Mark O’Toole is having on Arbuckle Street. Bad things could happen there, and also Mark is an asshole who hooked up with his cousin’s girlfriend twice and acted like there was nothing wrong with it." My sister’s friend never heard from the Arab man again!

Well, I really hope I’m wrong about this. However, when the man’s first warning came true in such a horrible fashion, I felt I could not take any chances and had to forward this on. Please pass it along to everyone you know, and just to be on the safe side, stay far away from Mark O’Toole on Halloween!

Subject: Fwd: "D&G" Not So Funny! Please Forward...

I saw this on a TV broadcast. One of the Middle East experts mentioned that Osama bin Laden’s holding company has invested heavily in the TV sitcom "Dharma & Greg." He gets a large portion of his funding for his terrorist network from the profits for this show, so whenever we watch the show, we are in effect supporting attacks on OUR FELLOW AMERICANS!

Instead, why not tune into the delightful NBC program "Three Sisters"? In one recent episode that really made me laugh, Bess forgets her birth control during a romantic getaway and fears she may be pregnant! It’s a really fun program, and 100% Osama-free!

Subject: Fwd: Please participate - satellite project

Help me spread the word about this advisory from NASA. On Thursday night at 9 PM Eastern time, a satellite photo of the United States will be taken, showing our nation united.

If you own a PC-compatible laptop, NASA has requested that you purchase Microsoft’s new Windows XP operating system and install it onto your computer. The process is simple and should take about an hour. It’s Microsoft’s best operating system ever and lets you get more out of the Internet!

Take the laptop outside at 9 PM, start up Windows XP, and hold the "Start" screen up to the sky to symbolize our new "start" at coming together and fighting terrorism. Visit for more on how you can eXPerience more!

Subject: FWD: Fighting back

Thought everyone would like to know about something that happened in Saginaw County, Michigan. On the afternoon of 9/11, a Hostess driver was making a delivery to a convenience store just north of Petukah. This was just after the attacks, and when he walked into the store he found two Arab employees laughing, high-fiving, and pouring themselves champagne!

The disgusted driver went out and told his dispatcher what had happened, and said, "I just can’t deliver DELICIOUS HOSTESS FRUIT PIES to these people!" The dispatcher told him, "Go back in there, and take every last morsel of REAL FRUIT FILLING and LIGHT, TENDER CRUST off their shelves! We’ll never supply them with any of our GREAT TASTING TREATS again!"

The driver went back in and proceeded to pull every last package of HOSTESS TWINKIES CAKES, with their DELICIOUS GOLDEN SPONGE CAKE and CREAMY FILLING, from the shelves, as well as all other Hostess products. He then left and told the celebrating workers, "Don’t bother trying to get any more CHOCOLATE HOSTESS CUP CAKES from us. The rich devil’s food cake and FUDGY ICING are gone from your store forever!"

If you are as moved by this story as I was, forward this message to everyone in your address book, so the world will know about those who mocked our country’s pain, and what one maker of SCRUMPTIOUS, MOUTH-WATERING products did about it.

More topical humor:
Comedy Under Siege

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