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Beatles, "Martha My Dear" — playful ode to Paul's sheepdog, Martha
Beatles, "Hey Jude" — bitter diatribe aimed at Paul's sheepdog, Martha
Meatloaf, "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" — based on a dream Meatloaf had after reading "The Hobbit"
Rolling Stones, "Sympathy For The Devil" — Mick Jagger explains: "I was at a party and this bloke saunters up to me and was like, 'Hi Mick!' And I was like, 'Hey... you!' I think I met him before, but I had no fuckin' idea who he was."
Kiss, "Lick it Up" — adapted from an amusing anecdote by Ace Frehley's mother, in which she attempted to buy just one stick of butter from a two-pack
Bach, "Toccata and Fugue in D Minor" — bittersweet reminiscence of one year at summer camp, when Bach spied on some skinny-dipping girls from behind a tree
AC/DC, "Let Me Put My Love Into You" — Following the death of lead singer Bon Scott, a distraught Angus Young wrote this song to lure Princess Anne into the band
Kenny Rogers, "The Gambler" — eulogy to Rogers' own useless penis
Spice Girls, "If U Can't Dance" — near-verbatim reprint of a piece Victoria Adams wrote for the Technology section of "Newsweek"
ZZ Top, "Sharp Dressed Man" — inspired by Billy Gibbons' discovery of a correlation between a clean, neat wardrobe and copulation
Lil Bow Wow, "Bow Wow (That's My Name)" — arrangement of Mendelssohn's "Lieder ohne Worte opus 38: No. 2 in C"
Celene Dion, "My Heart Will Go On" — fisting

More by Chris Painter:
The Casting Department Has Spoken
Building the Perfect Salmon
The Box Set of the Year

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