Modern Humorist - Shaq-Fu!
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LAST SUMMER, the LA Lakers’ center Shaquille O'Neal used mock-Chinese to disparage the up-and-coming 7-foot-5 rookie center of the Houston Rockets, Yao Ming. Quote: "Tell Yao Ming, 'Ching-chong-yang-wah-ah-so.'" Unbeknownst to Shaq, he actually said quite a bit in various Chinese dialects.
Mandarin ("standard" dialect, AKA Putonghua, Guoyu)
"[untranslatable curse] [untranslatable] frappuccino [idiomatic expression for sexual longing] [untranslatable, something like German 'Gemütlichkeit']."

Cantonese (Guangdong and Guangxi)
"Reification cat-geraniums christening benign mélange."

Wu dialects (Shanghai, Yao's own dialect)
"The policeman's beard [is] half-constructed."

Ping dialects (Guangxi province)
"I have gorged myself on Whoppers and Nestle Crunch Bars."

Kejia dialects, also called "Hakka"
"I make a travesty of the sport of basketball by throwing my massive bulk around instead of using skill and finesse."

Ningbo dialect (Ningbo, also a Wu dialect)
"I selfishly delayed my toe surgery until September and allowed my team to sink into a deep hole."

Min dialects (Fujian, Taiwan)
"Did you hear I called the Sacramento team ‘The Queens’?"

Chaozhou dialect (Chaozhou, northern Guangdong province)
"It's okay to insult Asians, but at the same time I try to hide my recent conversion to Islam because I fear anti-Muslim sentiment will jeopardize my lucrative clowning for Burger King and other consumer brands."

Xiang dialects (Hunan province)
"Have you seen 'Steel' or 'Kazaam'? Why not?"

Hangzhou (Hangzhou, Zhejiang province)
"Can't all monstrous freaks of nature just get along?"

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