Modern Humorist - Some Jokes I Wrote
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What did the prisoner say to his girlfriend?
“I’ll call you later from my cell.”

And now… the1960s cult British TV version of the same joke!
What did "The Prisoner" say to his girlfriend?
“I am not a number... I am a Free Man!”

I met a man who could eat 29 hot dogs in six minutes. I asked him what he thought about all those starving kids in China.
He said he could eat four of them in ten minutes.

Whoever dies with the most toys deserves to die.

I used to think I was a woman trapped in a man’s body, but it turns out I’m just a man trapped in a wine cellar.

Sometimes I wish I’d been born in a different era. Because as I understand it, Mesopotamian women really dug long scrotums.

Did you ever hear the story about the invisible robot who freed the children from their jobs at the doorknob factory?
Of course you didn’t, those kids remain in bondage to this day.

There are two kinds of people in this world: the kind that like the movie Tron and the kind that LOVE the movie Tron.

And now… Sexist Riddles!
What did the woman say to the Minotaur?
“Do you think I look fat?”

What did the man say to the Tyrannosaurus Rex?
“Why don’t you leave the seat up?”

What did the zebra say to the strawberry?
“If you so much as look at my wife, I will fucking kill you.”

And now… a joke that references both cable television AND Frank Herbert’s Dune!
“Whoever controls the Spice Channel controls the universe!”

Thank you.

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Modern Humorist is not intended for readers under 18 years of age.