W: The Motion Picture

George W. Bush unveils his new campaign slogans
ALSO: Leave Jenna Bush Alone! A special plea from Modern Humorist

Pages from My First Presidentiary

My Heart Will Go On
What to do in case of a Vice-Presidential heart attack

Cool and Unusual Punishment
Dubya unveils the Executionator

All the President's Mnemonics
How Dubya remembers who he hired

Dubya to Mumia: No Clemency!
Bush cracks down hard on the NBA's all-time leading scorer

Other POTUS funnies

Colin Powell's Schedule at a Glance
Rockin' with the Secretary of State

I Wanna Veto Bills All Nite (and Party Every Day)
Bush picks the hits

CyberUniting, Not CyberDividing
Dubya spams "Internet Al" Gore

The W is for Writer
The president discusses his new book and the literary life

FAQ: The Bush Daughters
The lowdown on the President's progeny

elcome to ashington
Other est ing pranks

George W. Bush's Wish List
What Amazon doesn't want you to see

Read W's Inauguration Day Schedule

Read W's Diaries from last year's convention

Encyclopedia Brown and the Case of the Supreme Court Showdown
The Boy Detective v. Bush v. Gore

West Winging It
The first hundred days of George W.

Kevin Guilfoile and John Warner discuss My First Presidentiary — read the transcript!

FLASH! My First Presidentiary is Oprah's pick of the month!

Even more humor about George W. Bush

BACK IN TEXAS we have a word for smartypantses like those folks at Modern Humorist: "Smartypants folks." Still, they've been nice enough to help me publish my new book, "My First Presidentiary: A Scrapbook by George W. Bush" (with help from Kevin Guilfoile and John Warner). If you click your arrow thing on the book cover, you can buy it.

Want to keep track of all my White House adventures? Sign up for my special pen-pal service below. Also on this page you can find some sample pages from my book, as well as some special Web-only funnies. And I've hidden some "Easter Eggs" on this site: lists of national enemies, launch codes, that sort of thing. Remember, America: All your base are belong to us!


buy my book

see the cover bigger

Wow! Being President is really crazy, with all the bill-signing, crime-solving and napping. When things get too out of hand, I like to write down my most important thoughts, and because I trust Americans, I want to share those thoughts with you. So to get the inside story of what my "vida loca" is all about, just enter your e-mail address below. You'll receive a special e-mail from me (with help from Kevin Guilfoile and John Warner) once or twice a week.
This e-mail service is different from Banter, the regular Modern Humorist newsletter. If you're subscribed to Banter, you still need to sign up separately for this one.

What do the book critiquers have to say about my great new paperback?
Seattle Weekly
Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
Boston Phoenix
Entertainment Weekly
And what do the regular folks of this great nation have to say?
Signum Press Beloit College Poli-Sci dept.
Wally The Columbus Dispatch
Comedy Reporter
Beth and her boyfriend
"Shrek" fans

For more on the book, my feud with
Mark Twain, and information about my co-authors,
go to

tell a friend
They'll read "My First Presidentiary," and they'll have you to thank.
Shirts, hats, posters, whoopee cushions & more.

Am I as think as you dumb I am? Discuss "My First Presidentiary" and me (George W. Bush) on Plastic.

Banter is the Modern Humorist newsletter, and is different than
the GWB pen pal list — Banter is not written by the U.S. President, and thus
is generally free of malaprops, creative spelling and grammatical errors.

Copyright 2001 Modern Humorist, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Modern Humorist is not intended for children under 18 years of age.