A Tradition of Quality: The Cosby Show. Seinfeld. ER. The Mike O'Malley Show If we're paying $13 million per episode, it must be good! Wouldn't it be funny if "Suddenly Susan" lasted ten seasons? Please don't leave. The Animated Series 
Click here to see an exciting scene from this terrifyingly great new show. You said more gay. We listened. NBC Sunday Night Movie "She's a Nurse-Practitioner Now" "Get a Load of This!" "Fatal Timber: A Moment of Forest Fire Movie" "Lake of Woe: A Moment of Drowning Movie" "Mother, I Want to Sleep with Rock Stars" "Which of the Four? The Search for a Quadruplet Killer" "Mother, I Put Pot in the Brownies" "A Prayer for Lily " "A Rose for Edna" "A Rock for Sidney" "Bionic Jet" "A Regular Sort of Alien" starring Vincent D'Onofrio and Heep Daggers  |
Hailing frequencies open, TV viewer!
Hi, I'm George Takei of the late-sixties NBC flop "Star Trek." As you may know, the crew of the USS Enterprise demonstrated that people of all backgrounds could come together to battle aliens who metaphorically represented Russia and China. Much has changed since then. "Star Trek" is a hit, and Russia and the Klingons are our friends. However, unlike politics, TV diversity hasn't moved at warp speed. More like impulse power.
I saw the insidious hand of discrimination when NBC failed to option my pitch for "Sulu: Savior of All Planets." So I started speaking out about the issue. Then, lo and behold, NBC said they'd love to give me a recurring part on "3rd Rock" as a bumbling alien bounty hunter.
I'm so thrilled NBC recognized the problem and turned it around overnight. Don't let anyone tell you TV ain't great, folks!
Sunday, 8pm
John Lithgow stars as the commander of a wacky family of alien paramedics. They save lives and make a difference on the streets while trying to comprehend Earth culture.
Special Episode: "No, Jimmy, No!" — Paramedic Doherty (French Stewart) keeps forgetting that on Earth, people don't eat epileptics.
Aliens passing as humans. Not unlike your immigrant forebears, perhaps? Anybody?
Monday, 9pm
The call comes in, "Another 'tard mugged on 32nd," and the NYPD's Special Victims Unit won't rest until it finds justice for the special person who has been robbed of his McDonald's paycheck, teddy bear, and dignity. Producer Dick Wolf's 89th TV drama spotlights cops and lawyers struggling with the challenges of protecting the developmentally disabled while relishing its joys.
Special episode: "Thank you, Batman" — Detective Munch (Richard Belzer) is presented with a wilted carnation and a kiss from his very special victim, a 44-year-old with Down's.
The cop show is television's best vehicle for promoting family values. It continues to demonstrate that the only reward for crime is a lifetime of molestation in prison.
Tuesday, 9:30pm
Finally, a sitcom that's set in a bar and lets its characters get really loaded. Michael O'Malley runs O'Malley's, where his cop brother Pat stops in every day on his lunch break to toss back a whiskey and crack wise, where his sister Mary gets her nightcap after a rough day at the abbey, and where his younger sister Susie can't decide whether to cross herself or get another beer and inevitably does both. Every night Mike exchanges witty ripostes with his family, his regulars, and the dancing baby leprechauns that only he can see.
Special Episode: "I've Got Rhythm (Method)" — Michael and his girlfriend reassure one another that everything will be cool.
You know, it wasn't all that long ago that people thought of the Irish as a dangerous, dissolute minority group. Relive those days by laughing along with Michael at lingering stereotypes.
The West Wing
Wednesday, 9pm
Writer Aaron Sorkin ("The American President," "Sports Night" and "C-SPAN2 US House of Representatives") offers an inside look at the White House for viewers who find "the news" too fast paced and negative. If you've ever suspected that our government is actually a lot like the student government on "90210," you're right.
Special Episode: "Southern Discomfort" — After a hard day planning the Senate Prom, Trent Lott (R-MS) gets dumped by Susie and crashes a kegger in the Rose Garden.
This show demonstrates how the government responds to minority issues and
promotes family values. We promise this show will inspire you to get involved
with democracy and leave network programmers alone.
Thursday, 9:30
His fellow accountants think Sam Therton (Neil Patrick Harris, M.D.) is a little wacky, but little do they know that he's wrangling three multiple accountant personalities that span the racial and cultural spectrum. He's a veritable Benetton ad inside one skinny white guy. There's Bill, a 45-year-old African-American who's a stickler for itemizing. Sue is a recent Chinese immigrant, 23, who can do 1040 long forms in her head. And finally is Jose, the 81-year-old Cuban-American who smokes cigars while filling out forms and chases the women around the office yelling, "Ariba, ariba!"
Special Episode: Kenton Howard is...Stark Raving Mad! Seriously. This has nothing to do with television. Stay away from Kenton Howard.
Lebanese-American Tony Shaloub plays a non-ethnic character. But at least he's on TV.
Friday, 10pm
Three couples in Seattle find themselves in three very different stages of relationships. Adam Williams and Shelley Sullivan are dating and showering together. Adam's best friends, Pete and Jenny Lombardi, are married and deeply in love but, with baby coming, must bathe in shifts. Meanwhile, Shelley's friends, Karen and David Chandler are devoted parents of a toddler, whose demands prevent them from showering at all.
Special Episode: "Funny Because It's True" — Guest stars Dave Barry and John Gray keep everyone in stitches with their wry observations about men, women, kids, and how couples can keep it totally kinky.
I got nothing here, people. I'm sorry.
Saturday, 8pm
High school is hard enough, but just imagine if you have flippers for arms. Freshman Sandra Calhoun has left her special school for the mainstream Taft High, where her only friend is Willy, a sophomore who copes with academic pressure by biting the heads off chickens. Featuring a non-stop blast of '80s pop hits and sexy but sweet teens with strange growths.
Special Episode: "Let's Put on a Sideshow!" — Chuck "Lobster Boy" Lemon dreams of being elected homecoming king, and not as a joke this time.
The success of A&E's original movie "P.T. Barnum" shows that the freak community is ready for its close-up. Welcome to our American pageant, freaks.
Melina Kanakaredes continues her role as Sydney, a big-city doctor who returns to Rhode Island and must prove herself to a wary town.
Special Episode: "'Round Here We Call That Malpractice, Bitch"
Ross continues to explore the "dark side" of Gen X dating. He's already been with a lesbian and an Asian-American who knows what could be next!
L.A. ObGyn
(Originally developed as "Untitled Tom Wopat Vehicle")
Sabid Farook is the best ObGyn in town...and he's Palestinian. Things get Gaza-tense in the first episode when Sabid talks diaphragms with a terrified yenta (Fran Drescher).
Faster Harder Deeper
Three socially conscious lawyers and friends, Mike Faster, Rich Deeper, and LeShawn Harder, leave their big corporate firms to start a small public interest firm. They're out to screw The Man during the day, and the ladies at night. One is Mexican, one is black, one is Filipino (Benjamin Bratt). It's young, edgy, urban, moral — and when the file cabinets close it's totally nasty.
Mo'Nique in the City
Starring Mo'Nique!
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