Dear Delegate,

Welcome to Philadelphia! I'm glad you're here to spend your money in the Place that Loves You Back.™

Actually, "loves" might be a little strong in this case—"likes you as a friend because you're buying" might be more accurate. At last count, Philadelphia had 43 registered Republicans, and boy are they going to be happy to see you. You can join them at the club for bourbon and welsh rarebit. Be sure to tell me what it's like inside—they don't seem to want me "darkening" their doorstep, if you catch my meaning.

Enjoy your stay, but don't you dare move here!


John Street
Mayor of Philadelphia

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