Shop the MH Superstore!

SOMETIME SHOE COBBLER Daniel Day-Lewis has garnered critical acclaim and an Academy Award nomination for his portrayal of Bill the Butcher in "Gangs of New York." Day-Lewis reportedly stayed in character for the duration of the shoot, transforming himself into the brutal gang leader. But the Method approach has not always served Mr. Day-Lewis so well.

Cast Away
To fully understand the protagonist's isolation, Day-Lewis stranded himself on remote, uninhabited Pacific island with only a basketball and an unopened UPS package for companionship. Returned to Hollywood to find he had missed the auditions. As well as the shooting, editing and release of the film and most of Clinton's second term.

Kangaroo Jack
Fought kangaroos, bare-knuckle style, until sidelined by rabies. Eventually, the producers settled on using an animated kangaroo and using Day-Lewis in "The Boxer."

Ace Ventura, Pet Detective
Founded own pet-detection agency but got "too close to the role" by becoming embroiled in the squalid shadow world of professional poodle grooming.

Die Another Day
Got drunk on vodka martinis, then plowed his Aston Martin into a Sunday-morning church service in the English countryside, killing 23. (Coincidentally, all were agents of SPECTRE.)

Rush Hour
To play Jackie Chan's fast-talking sidekick, Day-Lewis got himself in all manner of dangerous situations with mobsters, then escaped using insouciant street smarts. Producers decided he was playing it "too ethnic."

The Silence of the Lambs
In a bid for the Hannibal Lecter role, opened phony psychiatric practice, then killed and ate his hapless clientele.

Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo
In a bid for the Rob Schneider role, opened phony psychiatric practice, then killed and ate his hapless clientele.

Hoping to play the dual role of twin screenwriters Charlie and Donald Kaufman, Daniel Day-Lewis took up screenwriting. He wasn't offered the part, but he did score an uncredited rewrite on the upcoming Cuba Gooding, Jr./Horatio Sanz buddy comedy "Boat Trip."

Caddyshack III
Caddied for an increasingly irritable and abusive Chevy Chase for five months. Chase finally confessed there had never been any plan for a "Caddyshack III."

Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo
Lived in East LA for a year and a half, immersing self in hip-hop culture to prepare for the role of the break-dancer Ozone. However, a last-minute casting change had Day-Lewis playing Ozone's comic sidekick Turbo. It remains Daniel Day-Lewis's greatest role.

More Oscar Week 2003:
Oscar Ballot ’03

A Nose is a Nose
Deuces Wild

Copyright 2011 Modern Humorist, Inc.
All Rights Reserved.
Modern Humorist is not intended for readers under 18 years of age.