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Fall Schedules: NBC | CBS | ABC | FOX | WB | UPN

A conceptual break-through in television entertainment, this half-hour show will last for exactly 24 minutes between ads. Each minute of the show will represent an actual minute of your life that you could spend having a meaningful experience with another human being, but will instead squander.

Fox brings the beloved cult comic book "The Tick" to life in a brilliantly-executed sitcom, then schedules it opposite "Survivor: Africa." Next week: Fox creates a delicate, jeweled statue fashioned of hand-wrought platinum and ivory, then sinks it in Canada’s icy Beaufort Sea.

There may be buried scandals and secrets in the town of Pasadena, but for the really dark, twisted stuff, go to nearby Glendale, or better yet, Alhambra. They’ve got more skeletons in closets there than world-class dining facilities and four-star accommodations. Not to mention the Alhambra Municipal Golf Course, open seven days a week from 6 am to dusk.

One of the Original Kings of Comedy adds the Fox network to his royal domain. Pay tribute to the king! Hark! Yon D.L. Hughley dost covet Lord Mac’s throne. Cursed viper! Learned he nothing from the fate of the house of Harvey? A star-cross’d alliance with Cedric availed him naught. The Mac grows weary of thine impertinence. Also starring Dee Dee Davis.

Actually, I’m an English major, but my Dad still thinks I’m going to be a doctor like him, so I tell him "undeclared," and he pretends that means I’ll be pre-med. Man, he’s gonna be ripshit when I tell him the truth. "Son," he’ll say, "I’m not spending a hundred thousand dollars so you can be on welfare when you graduate." Well you know what, Dad? Fuck off! Just cause I’m not as smart as you, and I won’t be as rich as you, doesn’t mean I can’t be happy!

I may be drunk, Mr. Police Officer, but come morning, I will be sober, and you will still be—oh Christ! For the fucking love of God, stop beating me! I’m fucking innocent!

Scully confronts a baffling mystery when, suddenly and without warning, all interest in this show completely vanishes. Was it the never-ending plotlines that never resolved? Was it that episode where, having chased every monster imaginable, the agents investigated the schwa, that otherworldly unstressed neutral vowel?

Expect guest stars galore this season: Judge John J. Sirica, Freddie Prinze, Sr., Steve Rubell and Karen Carpenter.

Last season "Boston Public" pushed the boundaries of good taste with everything from student/teacher sex to teacher/student sex. This season, Jeri Ryan and Michael Rapaport join the cast. SPOILER WARNING!: Ryan will be portraying an attractive female, and Rapaport will play a loudmouth, blowhard type.

Everyday life is a struggle for Caitlin. Will she score high enough on her SATs to get into Yale, or will she have to settle for Princeton? Will the new BMW Z8 convertible be released in time to be her graduation present, or will it just be a X5? And on top of all this, Caitlin must make a life-changing decision: Hamptons or Vineyard?

This season your favorite futuristic cartoon show is back. No, not "The Jetsons." I’m talking about "Digimon."

This season, Fox places four committed couples on an island with Benjy, a lovable, robot panda bear who seduces with his adorable antics. How can you get mad at a partner who cheats with a panda? A widdle-bitty wobot panda?

Get ready for nonstop laughs when you enter the uproarious cartoon world of Springfield. Meet Homer Simpson, a lovable but clueless dad, and his son, the rebellious Bart. What zany antics will Bart pull this week? Will Homer lose his job at the nuclear power plant? Watch and find out, as the show enters its thirteenth season.

Jessica Alba returns for a second action-packed season as Max, a genetically engineered fisherwoman who chases, and is in turn chased by, a white whale. The white whale represents the ambiguity of fate.

Mommy like when skinny lady wear pajamas and dance with baby. Daddy like when skinny lady kiss other lady. Me like Peter MacNicol stirring portrayal Renfield. Moved to tears. Bye bye crazy lady not likes lady no more. Bye bye brilliant actor coke problem. Hope you better soon. We laugh but root for you. "Chaplin" so great!
[NOTE: The preceding preview of "Ally McBeal" was written by a winded, dehydrated young boy with a head injury.]

Scaling down its budget significantly, John Walsh’s crime-solving program hits the mean streets to nail those responsible for unsolved crimes in the farm town of Stow, Massachusetts. Your clues can lead to the apprehension of the guy with the ponytail who works at the video store, and several flagrant leash-law violators.

Hank Hill is just a regular Texas guy. He drinks beer, goes hunting, and loves his family. There’s only one thing. He’s a cartoon character. This acclaimed show dramatizes the daily struggle faced every day by Animated-Americans.

Malcolm reaches puberty. Damn the anti-castration clause in that kid’s contract!

Let’s clear something up: This show has nothing to do with Shakespeare’s "Titus Andronicus." Yes, Christopher Titus plays a Roman general who kills the sons of Tamora, queen of the Goths (Cynthia Watros), and bakes them in a pie which he serves to his foes, including the corrupt emperor Saturninus (Stacy Keach). But that’s been part of Titus’s routine on the stand-up circuit for years. "My material deals with all the stuff people are going through today," says Titus, "but in a way that's both funny and poignant. It’s, like, a dramedy."


Fall Schedules: NBC | CBS | ABC | FOX | WB | UPN

[ FALL TV 2001 Contributors ]

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